News Flash! Being a parent, you are guaranteed to make mistakes. In fact, I believe it is impossible to really learn without making mistakes.
There is a process that everyone goes through as they begin to learn something when they are first unsure how to do it and may lack the necessary skills. But with repeated attempts over time and making adjustments in behavior based on the experiences, someone can become a much more effective parent.
Why is it then our brains tend to focus on failure as an end rather than a means to an end?
Failure without insight or analysis is just that failure. It often dooms the person then into repeating the same mistakes over and over with little being learn from it.
True learning occurs when a person takes their experiences even if they do not go well and begins to ask some critical questions that helps them understand what they could do differently the next time.
It is this process of asking questions that helps a person go deeper and understands how to adjust their behavior to get better results. For instance, making a statement like “I’m not a good parent” does nothing to possibly improve or change a situation the next time it occurs. Instead ask more discerning questions like “What could I have done differently in the situation?” Or “What does this say about the challenges my child is having?”
It is about asking better questions of ourselves and allowing us to take the answer to those questions and apply those answers differently the next time around. This will allow us to make small changes that over time can make a significant difference in how effective you can be with your child.