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The Limits of Technique

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The Limits of Technique

It’s possible that you no longer need to get better at your craft. That your craft is just fine. It’s possible that you need to be braver instead.---Seth Godin.

Many parents who come to see me are looking for the latest tip, trick, or strategy to help improve their parenting. They often wonder if they had a more effective consequence for their child that would make the difference in their overall compliance with them.

This is an understandable desire. After all most of us are looking for fast solutions to the problems we are experiencing. Unfortunately, it is never that easy…..

with all the information on the Internet, I don’t see as much discussion occurring around the parent-child relationship. I’ve known parents who have done extensive research about effective strategies to change their child’s behavior but remain stuck with their child because they emphasize the strategies over the relationship.

I would say that the relationship with your child is often far more important than the strategy.

You do not do parenting to your child. You do parenting with your child.

The number one thing that I believe negatively impacting parents is fear.

It is when you are afraid to say something to your child despite you knowing that is what they need to hear.

It is when you hold back being direct with your child knowing that your child may not like what they hear from you.

It is the fear of not knowing how to handle your child’s pain.

This fear is not something that is shameful or wrong. If anything, it should be a signal to us that courage is needed. The courage to say or do things that are difficult or fear-inducing.

Challenge yourself this week to say or do something with your child that is hard. Do it with an attitude of humility, empathy, and dare I say – – love. That is the best evidence-based practice I know.

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